seeign clearly

My current topic for thinking is what I was told to take care of about 5 years ago, but I didn't listen :) I need to get married. So, where do we find that guy who is my husband? So as I am analyzing the mistakes I have made in the past, a lot of things are clearer. Here are some offshoot gems of that.

I was thinking about my conversation with the Born Again Ignorant practitioner from my dance class. I actually went on a date with another Born Ignorant, so I am very familiar what that brand of religious dogma. He was claiming he was in love with me and would give "anything he owns just to have me", he hang around for 2 years and wanted to marry me and move to Hawaii, but as soon as we touched into his religion (which is a huge issue because he TALKS about everything oh so high but never DOES it nor feel it) - well, as soon we questioned that wanna-be christianity, he left in a jiffy, and claimed he totally forgot me in TWO DAYS. That's a big switch, isn't it? Plus, he was completely high because he acted like a "good christian" and he strutted around proudly telling people that "he is a christian."

If your religion can make you forget someone over a weekend because you have to stay a good "christian", then what kind of "religion" is it? I say it is the worst case of dogma and brainwashing and it forbids you to feel and to be honest with yourself. It is amazing that an adult human being would fall for that kind of brainwashing. They are completely addicted. Also, what kind of "human being" can believe in something like that? Only someone very very low on the evolution level.

Finally those dots got connected in my head and the whole case is clear. If this person can finally see what his "religion" is doing to him, perhaps there is some hope for his salvation.


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As I was driving to Honolulu on a beautiful Saturday morning, I was noticing car "logos". Am not sure how it is called in English :) You know, the little "badge" that shows car manufacturer. Honda's logo looks like H, Ford says "Ford", BMW has a circle with black and blue squares, Mercedes has a tri-fork in a circle, Toyota has a symbol, Lexus looks like Nike-like shaped "L" in a circle, etc.

And so: all those brand names are prominently displayed on the back of the car. Interesting. People like branding. Furthermore, humans like brand prominently displayed - so everyone can see you are wearing LaCosta or Ralf Lauren or whatever the brands are these days.

Keeping up with the Joneses and strutting your brand around is a part of owning the car, for majority of the people, otherwise those little logos won't be so prettily displayed.

Just like people put tatoos on top of their butt. I was thinking how car manufacturers and tatoos are related :) Humans got to like that kind of display. It is interesting what corporate advertising can get people used to.

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Then, as I was driving and looking around and noticing some houses I have never seen before although I have driven that road for years, I realized a big thing:

my mind was just resting on various "objects" and *** I NEVER REALLY SAW THEM ***. The only thing that happened as my eyes rested on an object was my reaction: I LIKE IT or I DO NOT LIKE IT. I never really saw the thing I was looking at!!!

So, looking without any preferences, I was actually able to SEE houses, gardens, details that I have never noticed before.

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That way of thinking was very fruitful because I started looking like that into internal things in my life, and was able to let go of an old enemy. Being of competitive nature, I love to "get even" and I can be very revengeful even after a long time, however it costs me too much to carry that around. Also, I already "won". I got what I wanted way back then anyways, I have proven a long time ago that my case was legit. (The person was making fun of me and bullying me. I woved that I was going to make them eat it. They did - not because I did anything to them, but because I became "popular" so their opinion that I was lame was just publicly refuted.) I just let it go. It is actually very simple to let things go.

From my personal experience, it seems to be easy to let things go when we are sure in ourselves, that our case is "legit." Then we don't depend on any opinions or approval of others.

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Now I need to work on letting go of this Born Impotent ex-date. A part of me loves to snivel about how terrible experience that was. Sure it was. That was one of the worst dates I ever had, because there was some good parts about it and then there was the totally evil presence of that religious brain sucker. I was dating an addict. Another part of me is completely happy he is gone, understands his complete spiritual and life impotence due to this addiction of his, and feels forgiving and compassionate and wishes him well. If this experience doesn't help him see it, nothing will. He "loved" someone so much and forgot them in 2 days because his religion mandated so. Wow.
For me, the lesson is to trust myself more. I kinda knew this, I felt it, and I should have not interacted with him. Interacting with shit only can make you dirty and smelly and feeling like throwing up. Thus: avoid shit. As simple as that. As soon as it smells, run.

We learn as we go. I am very good with following the rule above with things I am familiar with, for example I won't go out with a womanizer or someone with chemical addictions, because I KNOW for sure how detrimental they are. I just flirted briefly with a womanizer once and then he did his number with someone else and even that little was a very nausiating scary experience, a clear violation of any human dignity. Plus, he must be an STD case. Another guy who smokes pot and gets drunk (yet has a job and a functional life) was after me, and he is nice but no thanks! Two times as I even briefly thought about "hm, is he it???" I had nightmares about drugs, which I never do, and it is clear that any closer dealing with him would be extremely dangerous. He would make anyone feel very trashy. When drugs take over, he is gone, and in a very bad way. He would always make any woman feel like a very unimportant second thing in his life.

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So, that's all very interesting stuff, being able to SEE CLEARLY, without any "I LIKE THIS" or "I DISLIKE THIS."